Forget positive thinking: A Zen Master explains the best way to deal with difficult emotions
What’s the key to coping with damaging feelings?
It’s not a straightforward query to reply.
Some individuals say it is best to ignore negativity and deal with being optimistic. Different individuals advise you to try meditation or yoga or some type of non secular observe.
However in line with Master Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh, it’s truly extra easy than that.
In a brilliant passage below, Thich Nhat Hanh explains how one can use mindfulness to cope with damaging feelings.
Thich Nhat Hanh Explains How one can Deal With Tough Feelings
First, Thich Nhat Hanh talks concerning the operate of mindfulness in recognizing your struggling and, surprisingly, why it is best to embrace it:
“The operate of mindfulness is, first, to acknowledge the struggling after which to care for the struggling. The work of mindfulness is first to acknowledge the struggling and second to embrace it. A mom caring for a crying child naturally will take the kid into her arms with out suppressing, judging it, or ignoring the crying. Mindfulness is like that mom, recognizing and embracing struggling with out judgement.
So the observe is to not combat or suppress the sensation, however reasonably to cradle it with lots of tenderness. When a mom embraces her youngster, that power of tenderness begins to penetrate into the physique of the kid. Even when the mom doesn’t perceive at first why the kid is struggling and he or she wants a while to seek out out what the problem is, simply her act of taking the kid into her arms with tenderness can already convey reduction. If we are able to acknowledge and cradle the struggling whereas we breathe mindfully, there may be reduction already.”
Going through our feelings and accepting them are totally different methods than what we’re normally taught.
Most individuals favor to cover from damaging feelings as a result of they’re too tough to reveal.
However what occurs?
Adverse feelings fester within the background and finally chunk you again even tougher.
Thich Nhat Hanh says that we have to view our feelings as ever-changing, and because of this, we’ll see that they’re not as scary as we’d suppose:
“Once we are offended, what will we normally do? We shout, scream, and attempt to blame another person for our issues. However anger with the eyes of impermanence, we are able to cease and breathe. Indignant at one another within the final dimension, we shut our eyes and look deeply. We attempt to see 300 years into the long run. What is going to you be like? What is going to I be like? The place will you be? The place will I be? We want solely to breathe out and in, take a look at our future and on the different particular person’s future.
Wanting on the future, we see that the opposite particular person could be very treasured to us. Once we know we are able to lose them at any second, we’re now not offended. We need to embrace him or her and say: “How wonderful, you are still alive. I am so happy. How could I be angry with you? Both of us have to die someday, and while we are still alive and together it is foolish to be angry at each other.”
The explanation we’re silly sufficient to make ourselves undergo and make the opposite particular person undergo is that we neglect that we and the opposite particular person are impermanent. Sometime after we die we’ll lose all our possessions, our energy, our household, every part. Our freedom, peace, and pleasure within the current second is an important factor we now have.”
That is unimaginable knowledge from the Buddhist Grasp. If there’s one factor that’s true, it’s that the universe is continually altering.
So after we’re experiencing damaging feelings, we have to perceive that it received’t final perpetually.
And we are able to’t depend on possessions or standing to make us completely satisfied as a result of these issues don’t final perpetually, both.
Thich Nhat Hanh says that happiness and struggling are like two reverse ends of a pole, and you’ll’t have one with out the opposite.
“NO MUD, NO LOTUS. Both suffering and happiness are of an organic nature, which means they are both transitory; they are always changing. The flower, when it wilts, becomes the compost. The compost can help grow a flower again. Happiness is also organic and impermanent by nature. It can become suffering and suffering can become happiness again.”
Thich Nhat Hanh says that we are able to put an finish to struggling by realizing that our struggling isn’t price struggling for:
“The greatest miracle is to be alive. We can put an end to our suffering just by realizing that our suffering is not worth suffering for! How many people kill themselves because of rage or despair? In that moment, they do not see the vast happiness that is available. Mindfulness puts an end to such a limited perspective. The Buddha faced his own suffering directly and discovered the path of liberation. Don’t run away from things that are unpleasant in order to embrace things that are pleasant. Put your hands in the earth. Face the difficulties and grow new happiness.”
“One way of taking care of our suffering is to invite a seed of the opposite nature to come up. As nothing exists without its opposite, if you have a seed of arrogance, you have also a seed of compassion. Every one of us has a seed of compassion. If you practice mindfulness of compassion every day, the seed of compassion in you will become strong. You need only concentrate on it and it will come up as a powerful zone of energy. Naturally, when compassion comes up, arrogance goes down. You don’t have to fight it or push it down. We can selectively water the good seeds and refrain from watering the negative seeds.”
(If you happen to’re on the lookout for particular actions you possibly can take to remain within the second and reside a happier life, try my best-selling eBook on how one can use Buddhist teachings for a conscious and completely satisfied life here.)
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